Day 3 Part 2

Ok...well we didn't quite make it into town because at 9.30am we had a knock at the door - and it was the gorgeous Patrick - our guide for the next 3 days (poor bugger didn't know what he was getting into!) We drove for about an hour and half North through some beautiful countryside to Holly and Craig's Snowmobile Adventures in Palmer where we were to be outfitted for our pending adventure. Holly was very welcoming and gave us a double page indemnity form which would scare the pants off any lawyer - so basically I just signed the thing and hoped Megan read it well - she's good like that!! Patrick took us into the very aromatic shed to clothe us in appropriate - hilarious - equipment. "No Patrick I WILL NOT wear 80's parachute purple jumpsuit!!" He just giggled mischievously as I brought out my own ski pants and laughed hilariously as Megs put on her jumpsuit (not purple - photos to prove this - I think he liked her more!!). All this gear is over the top of our own clothing and quite bulky - not fabulously attractive. Next was Bunny Boots - not cute or furry but army and ugly BUT VERY warm! Next mittens were not so much a problem - pretty straight forward - but then we have the helmets...hhhmmmm yellow. "Patrick???" Yes we got yellow helmets with face masks fitted to not keep out the nasty smell of diesel as we had hoped but to stop condensation forming from our breath on the visor. This just seemed like a little interesting aside - little did we know just how important those damn things are in NOT killing oneself!!

Indemnity signed, kitted out, quick photos with moose and we were on our way. We stopped for lunch near Willow - lovely town and I experienced my first Dill pickle and Megs explained to Patrick that he had to be careful that Elona didn't spend the entire time in just the store checking out all the food - which does amuse me - you should see the variety!!! And the size of their normal Powerade!! Alright sorry off track - that's what food does!! So we arrive at launch site where Patrick directs us to the Restrooms (that's the toilets) now putting on the gear is alot quicker and easier than taking it off to wee!! Fun fun fun...at least they were heated restrooms.

We start to get a little nervous now as Patrick runs through standard operating procedure followed closely by what should happen if he dies!!! We are serious - he has GPS, matches, first aid and knife and has told us which of the two GPS sites to locate and follow in case of emergency - also a satelite phone. With this we headed off on our snowMACHINES (not mobiles here) with all the confidence in the world after our little Patrick induction - Bless Him.

Right - very exciting - very fast. Hard to see the absolute brilliance at speed but the lovely Patrick would stop at times to check we were alive and still behind him and time for to take photos. This is the most magnificent expanse with contrasting horizons of frozen rivers which were our Hwys and snow covered forest with silhouetted mountains. Breathtaking - speaking of which the whole mask thing being important. Megs fell back and eventually I noticed (my mirrors weren't in a good spot - I did fix this) anyway due to poor visibility (inside her helmet) ie can't see a god damn thing other than condensation turned to ice at close range!!!! She stopped for safety reasons - must have been something she read in that indemnity!?!? Our snowmachine technician Patrick jumped into action lifting the bonnet of the machine placing the helmet over the engine vent to warm and dry inside of helmet visor. Very nifty!!

On we go!! A few jumps - some air and clocking 30 miles an hour (that's about 50k) We thought we were going REALLY SUPER fast and if there were mikes in the helmets you would have heard many squeals of delight. Sun is setting as we pull into Scary Tree sign - I ask Patrick "Why is it called that?" And the all knowing guide with complete honesty tells us he has no idea and laughs but then kindly helps us climb up the bank to the sign to place our flag which is the reason he stopped - which is very kind really! It was at this point that Patrick chose to be a meerkat - you know stand on your toes, look one way then the other then back again and again. When asked if he should consult the GPS he just laughed. Hhhhmmmm - on we go after he informs us we are about a third of the way...did we mention the sun was setting??? really did we?? Crap! Okay with building confidence we set off - we stopped after about another 15 miles (if your reading this Patrick - I don't know - I'm guessing!!! it was about that - we are approximating here - pay attention it gets better!! :) we stop at the base of Luce's which is a cafe type, riverside roadhouse place. How's that for description??? We can't give anymore of a description as we decided to keep going as to us it was getting bloody dark and our hero then informs us that we still had another 6 or so miles through forest where the machine JUST fits on the path and that alot of first timers often hit trees! Now I'm sure that was in the indemnity!!!!

Off we go full speed ahead... straight into what looked like a line of trees. My visor was at this stage fully up - just as well I was wearing my lenses or my eyeballs would have frozen solid - good little blankets they are! We zig zagged our way through a forest area and I'm thinking we must be there....we come out on the other side - cross the very wide river and head back up into the forest on the other side. More zigzagging then a stop as some what looked like experienced machine riders had got stuck - this is where I turned to Megs and said "I can't see s*#t!" We being experienced now popped the bonnet and fixed my helmet visor. We felt he was impressed with this - he being our technician Patrick who looked our way, seemed to nod, hard to tell, and proceeded to help the other people. This gave us an opportunity to look around at the glorious scenery of snow covered trees in a densely forested area lit up like a xmas tree from the headlights - absolutely beautiful. Ooooooh off we go again - helmet back on and we continue.

Now my turn (Megs)

We approached a picturesque log cabin set amongst the forest and we both looked longingly as we continue past said cabin and continue to navigate the dense forest of snow covered trees in the pitch black with only our 3 sets of headlights to show the way.  Eventually we happened upon another cabin at the very end of the pathway and we were relieved when our illustrious leader pulls to the side just meters away from a 150m (its approximate Patrick) shear drop to the river below.  After parking our machines most expertly in formation (approximately Patrick approximately!!!!).  We entered into the cabin and were greeted by warmth accompanied by a billow of our closest approximation: steam, the scientific phenomenon (not our forte).

On entering the cabin and delayering, Patrick's first instruction was in relation to the facilities.  Apparently the compost toilet is prone to freezing and sequently breaking if not first defrosted with boiling water.  He did point out the "Out House" any urge to wee was immediately reversed (no friggin way we were partially derobing outside in a not heated Out House!!!  The other thing we notice was the shower - or lack of.. well in truth there is showering facilities next to the front ON THE OUTSIDE of the cabin.  NOT GOING THERE and Elona having second thoughts about not washing her hair that morning and both us agree we were lucky we didn't book a 5 day safari.  We would also like to dedicate our thanks to the inventors of multi-purpose facial wipes.

Next once toilet water was boiled it was time for a cuppa and a quick look around the cabin.  Elona's fascination for the wide variety of foods and there package went into high gear (see Photos).  Water for the cuppa (not a word Patrick was familiar with but agreed to have one when offered) was boiled, decided to experiment after Patrick advised there was no milk, with "Creamer".  Apparently a non-dairy substitute that according to media is very popular and 5 creamer containers in the cabin stores supported this theory.

OMG disgusting  - Elona typing now - in fact I have never seen Megan spit anything out as quickly as she did this horrific concoction - hysterical for all involved... Megs again

The first hint that Creamer was not a viable option was Patrick's decline to have any in his mocha creation.  We then proceeded the get to know session.  Elona being her delicate self, posed many personal and probing questions of our multi-talented cruise director.  We now know, that Patrick is not only a snow machine guide extraordinaire, Hunting Specialist, Bird Culler in Hawaii, but also a proud parent of 2 gorgeous boys that he showed photos of along with the photo of his wife's (Jenny) arse, because all good husbands should have these essential photos on their phones.  Elona reciprocated by showing photos of Mandel and a arse of a very attractive black man.  

Next item on the To Do List, dinner.  Our multi-talented technician also cooks....bless him. Steak, baked potatoes.. no change of plan ... could not get the oven to work ... thank god he is not perfect. So potatoes cooked on a skillet, and salad was placed in front of us and was devoured appreciatively.  Patrick received a call from Jenny informing us of a lunar eclipse (if you ask Elona, she will tell you it was a solar eclipse - english teacher not science) it also coincided with winter solstice (the shortest day of the year - surprisingly Elona knew that). After freezing our arses off with binoculars outside staring at the moon being eclipsed into darkness, we headed inside and attempted to watch a movie, but as it was around 11.30pm jet lag hit and off to bed we were.